tzbin oil

It has hasn't it. And our really big plans, oh how differently they manifest themselves when we let ourselves fall backwards into the unknown. The clouds carry us like tides to places we can't help but have predicted but could never have carried ourselves all by ourselves. Do you know why I start every entry in this manner? What is this invocation? Well, as a matter of course, I only ever feel like typing things when it comes time to think about things. When life places me comfortably directly in between past and future and my vision into either is relaxed enough to translate something in a written-down sort of way. See. One is always the consumer. The future getting sucked in with each breath, getting metabolized and spat out as the past. And the pause between breaths, just before taking on a whole new lungful of future, that is a period of let's-say peace. Of respite? An opportunity for contemplation? A time of minimal consumption. Not very distracted, not very lazy, not even drinking coffee everyday to help my mood.
What has happened in the world since last time can be crammed into one sentence, but I will not search for that sentence. I will say this: teaching science in new york for three years is not always the best plan. Remember plans versus intentions. Look how intentions have no choice but to manifest themselves given a little time and a little faith. And plans. Well, I plan on getting a job and staying alive long enough for my intentions to make sense.
So it never hurts to state intentions.
I intend for all living creatures to reach enlightenment. That's lofty but easy to say so I say it.
I intend to spend enough time in Bali to have built a reputation, a carreer, and maybe a school there. As far as I can see, this starts with getting a job here in Providence for six months, teaching english in Seoul for like a year, and volunteering somewhere in Bali until the river carries me through the veil. That is the future.
The past holds some lessons.
There is no excuse for laziness. There are only results and we all know what they are. Failure, sickness, squalor, stagnancy. When you let those sense organs dictate your behavior the rewards are short-lived and disastrous. So, with all of the unpredictability of life, taking it all in stride does not mean inaction. Instead, flexibility and a smile, but always with purpose. If the body is still, so must be the mind. If the mind is active, let the body do something creative or difficult. Let it not erode itself and cause seasonal depression or atrophy. This is an important thing to be vigilant about as the winter approaches.
People die. And that is beautiful. Life is all the more important when there are less people living it, and death is the glorious reward for putting up with the pain of existence. Once you're through that veil, it doesn't matter what you left behind. And for those left behind, remember every moment is one step closer to that reward so is there any option but to earn that reward to the very best of your ability?
And in all things be honest and respectful. Negative emotions belong only to those experiencing them. So why make it worse for them. Why take things personally? It is one thing to protect your stance and express your inner strength, but it is very ungraceful to express anger. Let anger inform your own shortcomings and fix them before engaging others. If you find yourself concealing your actions, calmly and confidently bring them to the surface, and let them work themselves out. Conflict is a mental and social exercise, and a valuable one. The best way to make use of it is to explore it thoroughly and objectively, but not heatedly or with too much outcome in mind. Again, please, let every action be one part intention, two parts gusto and the rest pure faith. Faith in one's own intuition, faith in that of others, faith that physical laws are not predestination, but that things will work out in only the very best of an infinitude of possibilities.
Now. With all of these and other reminders kicking around in my head on a daily basis, I will ride my bike aimlessly around providence. I will have contacted no less than three jobs and one volunteer opportunity by the end of the week. I will research TEFL courses and asian living situations and ask the opinions of everyone along the way. There. Calibration complete. Onward.